Tarot is one of the paths I’ve used to find direction and meaning out of my chaotic mind. Now, I don’t use Tarot that often, to be honest. I usually bring out my Tarot deck when I feel the need to focus on certain energies/archetypes and give my mind some direction. It’s been a very long time since I used it to interpret a Tarot reading, and I’d never do it for someone else, although I used to do that sometimes when I was younger.

Selection of Tarot cards from the Spiral deck.

I am not a fortune or truth teller. I’ll never pretend that I can communicate with spirits of any form and shape, through Tarot. I’ll never try to present any wisdom seeping through any Tarot cards as some kind of answer for someone else’s question.

No, that’s not how I roll.

I use Tarot cards to visualize something that I want to bring into the situation I am presently in. There are Tarot cards that are commonly used in these exercises – like the Tower, the Empress, the High Priestess, the Chariot and the Magician. I choose these cards because they represent qualities I want to bring out in myself.

So what I do is basically – pulling the cards I want to use, and then I stare at them. I spend some time with them, sometimes with a candle lit, even with some incense of some kind (I’m not that picky – whatever smells good at the time), and I ponder on how I, at that specific time, can awaken these qualities within myself.

What I really like about this is the ease with which I can sort my thoughts. If I want a more fertile situation – and I’m not thinking about sex, I’ll focus on the Empress and work on finding ways to bring fertility and abundance into my present situation. If I feel like it’s difficult to create changes, I’ll focus on the Magician and try to find ways to direct my will and wish for better results.

Now, using Tarot like this may not give any specific results. But it is an excellent way to practise the mind in different ways of thinking. I sometimes tend to get stuck in a destructive pattern of thinking, and this can help me redirect my mind towards more positive patterns. Not always, but from time to time.

So what it really does for me, is to help recreate patterns of thoughts that are deeply set in my brain. I think there’s a scientific explaination of how those things works – it’s not easy, it takes a lot of time and hard work, and Tarot is not the whole answer nor can it take the whole credit for the work either. But it can be used as a tool for this purpose, and I like engaging in this activity from time to time.

There are other spiritual paths that I feel are more constructive for me personally, giving me stronger, more effective progress. Working with Tarot is one of the earliest paths I was introduced to, however, and I like to return to it every now and then. But then again; I am of the strong opinion that we (hehum, I personally, at least) don’t need tools to find the answers I am convinced are hidden within. I can find them just by turning my eye back- and inwards (but I don’t mean that literally – think third eye, intuitive eye instead). But that too, does of course take immense amounts of work, time, energy and willpower.

I don’t know about you guys, but my mind has been extremely chaotic. When I was younger I couldn’t make sense of any of it. Tarot is, aside astrology, at least for me, a rather good way to begin the mapping process. By mapping process, I mean pretty much like what you do on a computer. You put your content in a map system to keep it organized and easy to find. I do the same with the mess in my head. I map it to find structure, meaning and to make some sense of it.

And it works.

With love.


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Eye C : recovery from childhood trauma (narcissistic abuse by a parent)

I grew up with a covert narcissistic mother and a father who overcompensated in a rigid manner.


My mother died back in 2001 and I have spent too many years being a survivor. This is where it’s time to recover and be the best version of myself that I can be.


It’s important to me to let this be a space where we are creative and positive in our ways to recover from the narcissistic abuse we’ve been subjected to in our childhood. It’s no easy task, but I’ll be damned if I can’t do it.


Until then.


With love.
Malinka P.