What I think most people don’t really think about is that what we learn about life and reality from our parents, become our own reality. Had they taught us something else, our reality would look completely different. Most people won’t reflect much over this, and they’ll keep old traditions wether they are good or bad, not thinking that sometimes, change is good.

This rings true for me, and many other people, as well. The difference is, we grew up with people who in one way or another, taught us very destructive patterns instead of healthy, constructive ways to live and view the world.

There is much to this that I find extremely interesting, and I’ll get back to that in later posts and on the Youtube channel – but for now, I’ll very shortly say that what I learned from my parents was that women are weak, they are victims and they need to be taken care of, preferably by a strong man.

That’s not a very sexy concept, is it? Women are weak, women are victims of circumstances and everyone else is mean, and we need a man’s protection.

When said out aloud it sounds like crap. It also sounds completely insane. But this has been my truth for my entire life. Women are weak creatures and we need to be taken care of.

As with almost everything that has to do with tricky childhoods, messed up parents et cetera, this is very complex. My dad wanted me to be independent, but he treated me like a 3 years old child for most of my life until he died. My mother was very proud to be independent, but really, she wasn’t. With every man she met, she changed and turned into someone else.

All this and much more that we’ll get back to, creates a hardcore mindfuck in my head. Especially when combined with my own very strong wish to be my own person, to live a life that suits me, to have views of the world and reality that rings true to ME. But none of it was allowed. I know it sounds very odd to some – how can that not be allowed, but once I get into all this in depth, it’ll be clear(er) what I mean.

I am 45 years old. Next year, I’ll be 46. It’s quite recent that I realized that I do have my own SELF – actually, no more than about five years ago. It was about the time my dad died, that I landed in a feeling of SELF. I’d never had that before, and that too is something I’ll get back to later on.

And it is very recently – perhaps a couple of weeks, that I realized something else. I inherited the concept of women being weak, needing to be taken care of by men. That doesn’t make it my own truth. It was taught and carved into and onto me, with me struggling somewhere deep down. I don’t need to keep this truth for my own.

I can change it into something else. And that, dear reader, is what this blog and the Youtube channel, is all about. How to change from something that doesn’t serve us, into something else – and to become that someone we were supposed to be from the start.

I have chosen my own path, and I expect you to do the same. We are all individuals, and what I do won’t work the same way for you. I am a very abstract person, I am very interested in spiritual and philosophical ways of viewing life and reality (although I am also extremely sceptical). This may not work for you, and that’s fine. I’m not here to do the work for you. I’m just here to share my story, my strategies, my thoughts and ideas of how this works.

In January 2022, the Youtube channel will come alive. You can subscribe to it already, and I suggest you do so you don’t miss any video uploads. I put it so far in the future to give myself time to learn mainly film editing (I’m filming with my cell phone, since I don’t own a video camera), get used to seeing myself in videos, et cetera. But I hope to see you around once I start uploading.

Until then, the blog will keep going. So, see you around! 🙂


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Eye C : recovery from childhood trauma (narcissistic abuse by a parent)

I grew up with a covert narcissistic mother and a father who overcompensated in a rigid manner.


My mother died back in 2001 and I have spent too many years being a survivor. This is where it’s time to recover and be the best version of myself that I can be.


It’s important to me to let this be a space where we are creative and positive in our ways to recover from the narcissistic abuse we’ve been subjected to in our childhood. It’s no easy task, but I’ll be damned if I can’t do it.


Until then.


With love.
Malinka P.